I’m thinking a lot lately about rhythm. Not the direct kind (though it’s been awhile since I picked up a drum, and I miss that too), but the more metaphorical kind--the rhythm of my days, the rhythm of my life. I’m definitely in the midst of a rhythmic change right now, and the beat is shifting, transforming from something familiar to something not-quite-clear.

Perhaps a metaphor will help. (In my world, metaphors always help. Heck, they’re the only way I ever understand anything in the first place.) Let’s talk about rhythm in the context of a drum circle. (Which, if you’ve never experienced, you should. All teasing aside, there’s a reason why all those new-agey types love ‘em--there is a tremendous fun and power there, and much to be learned from participating with others in that way. But I digress.)

There’s always a time, in a drum circle, where everything is a little confusing--the previous jam is starting to break apart, or there’s been a break and everyone is just starting up again. There’s noise, but no direction: people are noodling with different things, often with great enthusiasm, but a central beat hasn’t emerged or been agreed to. Things might still sound ok, but the energy, the rhythm, is more scattered than aligned. The way this moves forward is that people start paying closer attention to each other, to the various beats going on, and something always emerges that catches everyone’s attention. People acquiesce to that  foundational rhythm, and start participating in it, and the jam coalesces, the energy settles (or jumps up, depending). It’s only after that that individuals in the circle can start taking turns improvising around the foundational rhythm, and playing with the shape and nuance of the jam itself.

I feel like I’m at that “everything is a little confusing” point in my life right now. My “who am I and what am I here for” identities are still shifting--I’m letting go or at least significantly modifying some of the previous identities I held, but I’m not totally clear yet on what new ones are replacing them. (Actually, I think this is the subject of another post.) And because of this, a lot of the rhythms I was used to are starting to fade away. I’m not working 9-5, or even pretending to by running an office where other people mostly do. I don’t have regular work-related meetings any more, and most meetings I do have are more to do with beginning to build something new (hi, Co-ignite!) than with managing ongoing Archer Web Solutions projects or networking for new AWS business. I’ve lost (temporarily I hope) my “Butt-In-Chair” morning writing practice and any sort of writing deadlines beyond super-fuzzy self-imposed ones. The kids are older and need a different kind of parenting now (though admittedly their school schedule is still the most rhythmic part of my life, which is helpful at least as a counterpoint.)

The days are still remarkably full--I still often have that overwhelm feeling of having too much to do and too little time--but they’re not predictable, not rhythmic. There’s still lots of noise, but no clear foundational rhythm to build on and play with, other than the largest one of the seasons and the regular seasonal rituals that come with them (which I still enjoy and am grateful for).

And yet...if I can just trust my own metaphor here, and keep listening for the beat, I know things will begin to coalesce. Things already are coalescing. I have managed to pare down the activity priorities in my life right now down to five:

1) People. Being present and spending time with people dear to me (family, friends). This includes the daily, attentive work of conscious parenting, conscious marriage-building, and conscious relationship maintenance.

2) Home. Co-creating a comfortable and supportive home for myself and my family. Yeah, I guess that has to include housework. But it will be shared.

3) Archer Web Solutions. Maintaining Archer Web Solutions at a much smaller, more manageable level, where we only work with the clients we already have and those few new ones whose causes and intentions align with our own.

4) Co-ignite. Co-creating the new and improved Co-ignite and using this a springboard to make my own contribution towards changing the world for the better, while also getting financial compensation for the contribution that I bring.

5) Art. Personal creative projects, including writing, painting, music and whatever else I darn well please that gives me inspiration, allows me to communicate, and distills meaning (for myself and others).

The real challenge now is to figure out how to set an appropriate and satisfying rhythm that incorporates all five of these things (and not to muddy the rhythm by adding any more things if possible), while also knowing that each of these will inevitably fluctuate in amount of time and attention needed or wanted. Because yes, the drum circle works best when someone steps up and sets the beat, just like an organization or project works best with a clear leader (an open, respectful and collaborative leader, but a leader nonetheless).

So the lessons here are:

- Listen. Continue to give myself enough quiet so that I can focus on these main rhythm elements that are just starting up.

- Step up and lead the beat. Find and commit to *some* sort of regular daily/weekly rhythm that incorporates all 5 of my priorities.

-Trust the process. Know that eventually things will settle down, and that when that happens I’ll get my chance to start creatively playing around with things--I don’t have to fear being locked in to any given rhythm either.