Burning Man! Once again burn time has come and gone, and once again it has taken me weeks to a) physically recover (I swear to you that BMCFS or Burning Man Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is a real thing), b) process all the things that happened (or didn’t), and c) put all the rest of the life admin in order and get everyone and everything else to leave me alone long enough to carve out some quiet writing time. But here I finally am, and even though it’s over a month later and the immediacy of the memories have faded, there are still plenty of things I want to record for posterity.

As I’ve said before, if you’re one of those readers who is impatient with the full, overly detailed and admittedly solipsistic story, please feel free to just skim and look at the pictures (but they came out pretty lo-res here on Parentheticals so you might want to click through to the full set on Flickr, here), or you can skip to the end to see my summary of this year’s takeaways. And if you’re unfamiliar with Burning Man in general, you might want to go look at my posts from my first year in 2011, in which I explain some things (or you could just go look at the official Burning Man website).

Mystic and Supernova at Burning Man 20142014 was my fourth burn, and had its own flavor and character just like every other burn. If I were to summarize (and if you’ve ever read anything I put on Parentheticals, you’ll know I am not the most expert at summarizing or succinct condensation...you have been warned), I would say that this burn turned out to be largely about love, and especially love for and with my life partner Josh, aka Mystic. We spent nearly all of this burn in each other’s company, and it was satisfying, and fulfilling, and yummy, and just all-around great. There was also some good love of self and of friends and of random strangers in there too, which I’ll get to when I get to the detailed report and takeaways. We also had chosen a new camp this year (Pink Heart), which was in many ways all about love, so that certainly did set the scene/create the container for all the love experiences as well.

Now, I didn’t start out with the intention that this burn would be all about love. I actually did some thinking about what my intentions were before the burn started (since I had all that free time not taken up by a giant construction project like last year). Serendipity was the intention I came up with first and foremost. Last year was all about “go big or go home” and pushing myself (and others) to do something large and amazing. This year I wanted to be more “let come what may” and I wanted to stay open to whatever the Universe wanted to present and/or teach to me. And I did have quite a few beautiful serendipitous moments (which I’ll get to in later entries), but apparently what the Universe wanted to teach me this time was love. Who am I to argue with that? :)

So. The lead up to Burning Man this year was much calmer this year, because we weren’t building any major structures or trying to complete any major communal projects. The only things we had to do (in addition to “pack all the things”, which is not an insignificant logistical project) were to make whatever upgrades we wanted to our yurt and camping supplies, and make/acquire any new costume pieces we wanted to bring. That process went relatively smoothly, which was great.

Because the gates opened even yet earlier this year (Sunday at 10am), we decided to leave early Sunday morning with the goal of getting in the gate and to our camp in time to set up our stuff on Sunday evening. That was a good plan, but like all plans, we had to hold it lightly and expect some shifting. And shifting we got! Not only because, well, that’s always what happens on the playa, but because first off sometime in the wee hours of Saturday night/Sunday morning, the actual earth beneath our feet shifted quite dramatically: there was a 6.1 earthquake centered in Napa that woke us up. Josh and I rolled over in bed, looked at each other and said “earthquake!” But it was over by the time we realized what was going on, and when we listened and there were no sirens or freaked out children or any other alarming noises, we rolled over and went back to sleep.

Josh packed the van like he was playing JengaJosh used his spatial dynamics superpower and packed the van to the brim like a giant jigsaw puzzle and strapped the yurt to the top of the van. We set out around 10am from our house, with a brief stop at Ace Hardware to pad the yurt straps so that they wouldn’t vibrate and drive us crazy for the whole drive. Most of the drive was relatively uneventful. We stopped once in Antelope to get lunch, pick up cigarettes for our friends Evan and Mary, and buy rebar and poles for staking down/stabilizing our EZ-Up shade structure (Josh realized we’d forgotten to pack them when we were somewhere around Fairfield). Then around 4pm we stopped for gas and dinnerish snacks at Love’s gas station in Fernley, and jumped back on the road...where we promptly ran into stop and go traffic all the way to Burning Man. We didn’t get off the pavement and onto the dirt of Gate Road until around 8:30pm, and then it was about 3 more hours until we finally made it to Pink Heart. One bright spot about all the waiting around was talking to other people in the various lines around us, and serendipity started almost literally as soon as we hit the dust when we discovered that our friend and camp-mate Aimee was in line with us, two rows over. Hanging out with her during the gate wait time certainly made it more fun.

Caravansary ticketI had been worried that we were going to roll into camp too late, that people wouldn’t be around, that it would be hard for us to figure out where to go or where to go park our car, but all that proved to be no problem. Serendipity showed up again and made everything easy. We were welcomed graciously and with pleasure, and we joined right in to the hustle and bustle and set up happening all around us despite the hour. We unloaded all our stuff and then handed off our car to the campmate who was the designated “valet parker” to bring out to our assigned parking lot on the outskirts of the city. We helped Aimee unpack too, and then started the process of setting up the yurt (which took some assistance at key points from Aimee and Anjanette). At some point during the setup someone came by to tell us that there was a wind/dust storm expected in the wee hours of the morning, so we should make sure to batten down our stuff. We helped Aimee move all her stuff into the storage container (since she hadn’t set up her tent yet) and then we moved most of our stuff that wasn’t big and heavy into our yurt, set up our bed platform and mattress, and finally had to collapse since it was something like 3 or 4am at that point.

We slept the sleep of the well-worked until around 6 or 7am, when a loud noise woke us up (even through ear plugs). It sounded like something substantial drumming on the roof of the yurt. I muzzily thought “oh, the wind storm’s here and kicking up so much dust that bits of playa are hitting the yurt”. Then I woke up a little more and took out my earplugs and listened again....it was raining. I even got up and poked my head out of the yurt to make certain, and sure enough: the playa was wet, there was water falling from the sky, and everyone was under cover. This was about the time when Josh said to me, “I didn’t finish taping the bottom of the yurt to the tarp...we should check for leaks.” So we leapt up and checked on the untaped areas, which were indeed leaking and making puddles on the floor. Luckily we hadn’t unpacked much or put down carpet yet, and our bed was on a platform, so we just left the leaks alone and tried to reassure ourselves that once the rain stopped it would dry out quickly and we’d be able to take care of it.

Now let me pause here and say that one of my biggest anxieties about attending Burning Man has always been “what if it rains while we’re there?” I’d heard stories about the mud and the difficulties and shut downs it can cause, and the idea of being caught in the wet and mud always seemed like a worst case scenario to me. Dust storms I was used to and understood how to prepare for/deal with, but rain storms? Eeeeek. It had rained oh so briefly back in 2012 the night we met the alchemist [LINK], but that had been barely noticeable. This rain was much different. It was a full on pounding, serious rain (and, we later learned, there had also been hail), accompanied by cracks of lightning and thunder...and the lightning strikes were pretty close, judging by the time between the flashes and the rumbles. I was torn between feeling all Chicken-Little-panicky that the sky was falling and thrilled that we’d pulled all our stuff into the yurt and that the yurt seemed to be mostly holding up fine against the weather. We joked that the burn might be happening at the beginning of the week this time since the Man this year was the perfect shape to be a giant lightning rod. Luckily this did not happen.

Anjanette dancing in the rainThe rain let up after a little while, and a few Pinkies came out to investigate including Anjanette, who had brought an umbrella to use as a sun shade but wound up using it for its true purpose instead. We stayed in our yurt and did a little rearranging. We put some dirty clothes and washcloths down to contain the puddles, and tried to reassure ourselves that it would dry out soon.

It continued to rain off and on for a few hours, but we finally got out of the yurt to do some clean up and some more set up in the early afternoon. We set up our stuff and we helped other people set up their stuff and then took a break with Aimee and our campmates Doug and Elena in their RV. Then it was finally feeling dried out enough for us to want to venture out a little farther, so we got dressed in fresh clothes and went to go check out the public frontage area of camp, where the Pink Lounge was mostly set up.

Supernova talks to GodWe lounged around a bit and talked to some of our fellow Pinkies, but I was feeling restless and wanted to go explore at least a little bit, so I walked over to an art piece that was right across the Esplanade from the camp next door to us. That art piece was “Talk to God”, which was set up like a phone booth with “Black Rock Bell” and “Talk to God” on top and an actual push button pay phone inside. I’d seen this art piece in previous years and had heard that there were times when someone was actually on the other end of the line or that you could call out on it, but I had never had a chance to interact with it. Now seemed as good a time as any, so I told people I was going to go give God a piece of my mind about the weather and see if I could get the sun back. Josh told me to be “polite but firm.”

As it turned out, when I picked up the phone it started to ring and ring, but no one answered, and eventually it disconnected. I decided to take that as a sign that God was particularly busy right now. While I was fooling around in the phone booth, a young man came by and started chatting with me about the phone booth. It turned out that he was a reporter for some small newsweeklies down in Southern California, and this was his first time at Burning Man. He tried to interview me like a proper reporter and I played with him for awhile and then finally said he could take my picture and gave him my name. (Still haven’t seen anything attributed to me pop up online though.) I asked him to take a picture with my camera too though so now the moment where nothing actually happened has been memorialized forever.

At some point we left the lounge and went back to our yurt to do some more set up, and our friends Mary and Evan came by. We were so happy to see them and reconnect, and we had a nice lounge time with them until they had to take off so that Evan could go finish setting up the projections for the big sculpture project he was a part of called “Between Dimensions”. We agreed to hook up with them later in the evening at the sculpture and celebrate its “grand opening” with them.

Pink Swing at Pink Heart at sunsetIt continued to stay dry and the playa seemed walkable/bikeable, so Josh and I made ourselves some simple freeze-dried food for dinner and changed our clothes into night outfits, and headed out to meet up with Mary and Evan via a stop at the porta-potties out on the playa (which were the closest ones to our camp). Anjanette joined us for part of the way and we saw some pretty spectacular sunset with all the clouds still hanging around. The playa felt kind of empty (or at least not overcrowded) because so many people had been stuck in the Gate line or turned away altogether from getting in because of the rain, so there really were fewer people in the city and it was kind of cool.

We had a fun night hanging out and celebrating at Between Dimensions with Evan and Mary and taking little side trips to other nearby art installations. Eventually we all decided to go out and see some playa sights together, but first Josh and I made a brief detour back to Pink Heart to pick up our playa coats, because it was getting pretty cold. Then we collected Evan and Mary and set out to go pay our respects to the Man, who this year was a giant, 100+ foot tall sculpture standing directly on the playa and surrounded by a ring of interactive exhibits under an open tent called the “Souk”, rather than a relatively huge sculpture standing on top of a relatively huge base.

Mystic and the ManMaybe it was just me and the state I was in when we first saw the Man, but I was almost overwhelmed (and not in a good way) by the sheer massive size and giant-ness of the Man himself. I’ve never particularly felt that the Man was oppressive or looming or in any way negative before (even though the size and scope of the flying saucer base of the man last year was pretty audacious), but this year I did. I tried to stick with admiring the enormous engineering feat that was clearly involved in putting the enormous Man together and keeping it upright in playa conditions, and not get too wrapped up in feeling like big brother was watching me or that a fairy-tale giant was constantly threatening to come stomp us all.

We didn’t really stick around and look into the Souk exhibits, which seemed more like daytime-appropriate interactions, we just went “woah” at the Man for awhile and then left. After a bit more playa wandering, Josh and I eventually bid our friends farewell and headed back to Pink Heart to call it a night.

[Caravansary Part 1]

[Caravansary Part 2]

[Caravansary Part 3]

[Caravansary Part 4]

[Caravansary Part 5]

[Caravansary Part 6]

[Caravansary Part 7]

[Full Set of Caravansary Pictures on Flickr]

I turned forty-five yesterday, which is starting to feel like a pretty significant chunk of time spent whirling around the sun, feeling the seasons change over and over again. I’ve passed in and out of a few life stages by now, enough so that I feel like I’ve maybe even learned a few things, and had some pretty significant experiences. (Oh, but there’s so much more to learn and do....I intend to pack it all in as much as I can for as long as I can!)

In many ways, yesterday was just another day (albeit with a somewhat more sparkly than usual outfit). I did the same things I always do on a Wednesday: appointments, errands, lunch with my Dad, playing mom taxi, supervising homework...and trying to fit in a little writing somewhere. But in other ways, yesterday felt different. Special. It was my birthday which is always a great excuse for me to practice being “all about me”, but as anyone who’s read this blog in past years knows, my birthday is also my “cancer-versary”: the anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. This particular birthday marked twenty-two years since I heard those fateful words from a doctor I’d met only once before: “the bad news is, it’s cancer.” Twenty-two years is a long time. I was only twenty-three when I was diagnosed. That means that this time next year, I’ll have spent more of my life being a cancer survivor than not. Huh. That’s trippy for me to think about, especially when I think about the way that this experience and this identity marker has ebbed and flowed and affected my life. I’m still here, which is awesome—no, I really mean that adjective, for once: I am full of awe. How did that happen? I could so easily have not been here, if things had gone even a little differently twenty-two years ago. Or I could be here but in a completely different space, more painful, less growth-ful. Life is so delicate, so complex and mysterious in its unfurling, clear only occasionally and even then mostly just in reconstructive hindsight. What’s cool, though, is that every year on my birthday, the day that has become my personal contemplative holiday, I am able (in fact, encouraged) to access those feelings of awe and mystery again, and that is a gift I was given. Given gratis, just because, with no judgment around how hard I fought or didn’t fight for healing, or whether I “deserved” either the cancer or the resultant epiphanies. It was just given, and the other awesome thing is that it keeps being given to me, if I only look for it. So here I am, looking.

I wrote a pretty good piece on last year’s birthday about my takeaway lessons from the cancer experience twenty years down the road, and I don’t have any huge new breakthrough epiphanies to add to that list. But what I have noticed, as I look in the rear-view mirror and see this life-changing event receding farther and farther down the road, is how I have incorporated all those lessons into my outlook on life now. It has been a gradual change, a slow motion dancing with destiny, like the way a tree will sculpt itself into a particular arch as it reaches away from the shade and into the light. I’m still the same tree, rooted in the same soil, but I’ve spent a long time reaching—stretching—for additional nourishment as I grow. My overall shape is different now than it once was, even though it’s made from the same bark and branches, leaves and sap.

That’s a good metaphor, but there’s one other that finally occurred to me to explore this year, and it’s surprising to me that I really haven’t thought much about this before. It’s the metaphor of the lymph node, which is, after all, where my cancer was discovered and the system within which it did its initial disruption. (Now, let me be the first to admit that I still have a remarkably undeveloped understanding of how the lymph system actually works, but that’s ok, we’re mining metaphor here.) What I do know is that the lymph system (which includes organs, nodes, ducts and vessels) does several different things for a body. It brings nourishment, it takes away waste, and it helps destroy toxins and pathogens (like cancer cells!) The nodes in particular are supposed to be like little pathogen-killing death camps, as well as filters. I have been thinking, though, about what it means (metaphorically speaking) that I’ve taken damage to my filters, to my ability to fight back against toxic, damaging, invasive substances. Is this why I have such a hard time with negative news, with horror movies, and with nasty people? (And here I thought it was becoming a parent that made me so tender-hearted.) Then again, my superpowers always did lie in the realm of enthusiasm and optimism, so maybe the hit wasn’t as damaging to me as it would have been to someone else (I *am* still alive at forty-five, after all, as previously mentioned). I do definitely still hold tension and pain in the vicinity of my right shoulder and neck, and I probably will always have a weak point there (though forgiveness and extra self love in that spot will help ease it). Is that the lesson here, that I need a little extra self love and appreciation for that spot?

In that case, let me now publicly acknowledge a piece of myself that never really got the credit it deserved at the time: my brave clavicle lymph node that became my presenting tumor, the first indication that Something Was Going On. Call it an “Ode to the Node”, if you will (but really it’s just a thank you). That particular lymph node sacrificed itself by taking on so much cancer-killing that it eventually lost the fight and got taken over by the cancer cells, but in doing so, it became the warning I needed to realize something was wrong and gave me a chance to call in the finest reinforcements that Western medicine could offer me at the time. Wow! Thanks, node—I surely did not appreciate what you did before you were gone, but right here, right now I am raising a metaphorical toast to your bravery and your noble sacrifice of the one for the good of the many. You may be gone now, and the ones around you and related to you were blasted and scorched to make sure no more cancer was hiding out, but even with all that pain and suffering, remarkably, the system has recovered. I’m still alive at forty-five, bloodied but not bowed, crunched but not cowed. And that’s a pretty great birthday present, every year.

New year, new moon, new intention (a word I like much better than “resolution”). Last year I intended to “stretch”, and stretch I did. I stretched into new places and new projects, and pushed farther and harder on my current projects. I challenged myself, for the most part successfully, to do things I had never done before, and to let go of fears and constraints that no longer served me. It was good work, if a bit exhausting in places, and I’m pleased with myself overall.

This dawning new year, though, already seems to have a different feel to it. Though I still am attracted to striving and pushing myself in new directions (and probably always will be), I feel less like I want to expand and more like I want to explore where I’m at. I’ve had a couple of relatively quiet and thoughtful days out here at the beach to try to come up with my intention for 2014, and much as I was hoping for some grand inspirational ideal to present itself to me, the thing that keeps coming up when I think about what I want for this coming year is satisfaction. Satisfaction in the specific sense of feeling sated, that what I have and do is enough, and is pleasurable and fulfilling. I want to find satisfaction in as many areas of my life as possible: my creative work, my relationships, my parenting, my volunteering, my home, my communities. I don’t mean that I “just” want to passively accept whatever good things I currently have (though I do—but that’s gratitude, which is a somewhat different intention) without wanting any more; I want to pursue satisfaction actively (and appreciate it wherever I find it). I want to get clear on what makes me satisfied, and then spend my time and energy doing those things or being with those people or visiting those places. If it isn’t satisfying, and it isn’t necessary to survival, I don’t want to do it. (And if it is necessary to survival yet something I don’t want to do, I want to encourage myself to find some sort of satisfaction in it somewhere.)

So that’s my plan for 2014: find satisfaction. It may be easier or harder at times to find it, and having found it, to keep it; it may take some stretching and some practice. But I would really like to be sitting in a house in Stinson Beach at this time next year looking back on the year and thinking “that was a really satisfying year.”

And then all of a sudden it was the last day of 2013 and time to reflect before running pell-mell, screaming and yawping, along the cliff-top, hurling myself over the edge and out into the empty sparkling sky and plunging into the new year.

I haven’t spent a lot of time writing in this Parentheticals blog (or my FYFFH blog) this year, despite the best of intentions. Almost all my creative energy has been taken up with other kinds of art projects: trying to make serious headway on my second novel (which I have), making freak flags, making art to bring to Burning Man, running an ongoing RPG. It’s hard enough to balance any kind of creative output with the demands and distractions of daily life, but I have to admit it’s also hard to balance creative projects with one another. Multitasking is a challenge for me in my creative life, at least right now when I’m multitasking so much in every other part of my life as well.

But that being said, I still feel pulled to blog at this time of year, so blog I shall. Who knows, maybe it’ll inspire me to blog more in 2014.

So how’d 2013 go? Thanks for asking. In retrospect, 2013 was a steady, full, “interesting” yet not overly dramatic or tragic year (yes, even though we now have a middle-schooler). We stayed pretty healthy and pretty happy overall, and for that I am immensely grateful. My stated intention for 2013 was “stretch”, and if I hold that intention up against my activities this year I think I manifested that pretty well, especially in the creative and spiritual arenas. But I do find myself at the end of the year pretty tuckered out and feeling overwhelmed, so maybe 2014 is the time for a less demanding intention. More on that in the next blog entry.

And now, the month-by-month review for posterity. (Because someday this is going to be the only way I remember what the heck happened in my life.)

January 2013 was blessedly quiet, although interspersed with birthday celebrations. I also began my “Out of the Closet Challenge”, where I challenged myself to dig into my voluminous closet and wear something different every day for a year--that was certainly a stretch, in multiple directions. I wrote about that whole project over here.

In February I held a writer retreat weekend out at Stinson, which helped me get moving again on my second novel. Then it was Eli’s birthday, which was celebrated during our now-ritualized annual family trip to Dundracon. We also spent some time at the Odyssey of the Mind Regional competition with Eli’s team, which was a fun learning experience for all of us. February also brought me a lot of volunteer work running the “Dixie Doodle” fundraiser for Isaac’s school, and then there was Purim, which we actually got dressed up for and celebrated with our synagogue communmity.

March was full of little trips and festivities: I went to Burnal Equinox, made arrangements for the supercool beatboxing cello player Cello Joe to play at Isaac and Eli’s schools, and went to the local spec fic con FOGcon with my writer peeps. Isaac had a glowy "rave" birthday party at the bowling alley, and we all went to the State Competition for Eli’s Odyssey of the Mind team. Also in there were Passover (early this year like all the other Jewish holidays) and a fabulous and memorable trip to the French Laundry in honor of Mom and Dad’s combined 70th birthdays. (It was a completely over the top and awesome meal.)

In April I arranged another writer retreat weekend in Stinson, and there was also a different Stinson beach weekend trip with friends in honor of Ron’s birthday. Other April highlights were a field trip to Angel Island with our religious school class, and a fun day checking out the How Weird Street Fair (and handing out freak flags). The biggest event (and biggest stretch) of this month, though, was finally being called to the Torah as an adult Bat Mitzvah, which was something I’d been studying for since the Fall. It took a lot of courageous stretching, but I feel like I was able to reclaim and authentically embrace my ancestral spiritual tradition in a way that was personally meaningful and enriching. The day itself was one of those peak spiritual moments I will always remember.

May got busy with a trip to Chico to see both my brother and nephew perform in separate musical gigs, a huge amount of prep for and a triumphant weekend at Maker Faire making freak flags (I stretched into a bigger booth and nearly double the amount of flags this year), and a wonderful trip with my writer peeps out to the heretofore never visited state of Wisconsin for WisCon, the premiere Feminist Spec Fic convention. I had such a great time at that con that I am planning on going back again this year.

June was also busy and full of stuff: I had another writer retreat weekend in Stinson, the kids finished up 2nd and 5th grade, we made our annual pilgrimage to the Pirate Festival, I helped mom set up and break down her booth at the Marin Art Show at the Lagoon, and then we went on a week-long fabulous family trip to Yosemite. Shortly thereafter we celebrated the birth of our fourth nephew, baby Finn. In and amongst all this other madness we also started ramping up for a project that would soon consume the rest of our summer: planning and building the Temple of Renewal (aka the showers) for our camp at Burning Man. 

July was full of summery activities like the Marin County Fair and the neighborly Firefighters Pancake Breakfast, plus lots of visits with family, including my Grandma’s annual visit. We also buckled down on the Temple of Renewal project and other Burning Man prep, some on our own and some with a little help from our friends. I got a lot of “stretch” in during this project, which I wrote about over here. “Go Big or Go Home” became our rallying cry.

In August both kids went away for a week to sleep-away camp (this was Isaac’s first time) and Josh and I ripped ourselves away from the Burning Man prep to take a 4-day trip to Ashland for the Shakespeare Festival (with a bonus side trip to Shasta Caverns which were incredible to behold). We put in a hell of a lot of work on the Temple of Renewal, and then Josh left for Burning Man a week early to do build, I held down the fort for the beginning of 3rd/7th grade for the boys, and then I took off for Burning Man. I did a detailed write up of that trip over here. 

As soon as we returned from Burning Man in September, we dived into the High Holidays, then spent a bunch of time recovering from and cleaning up from Burning Man. Later in the month there was Josh’s birthday luau, get togethers with some of our Burning Man peeps and old college buddies, and some more art flunky time helping set up Mom’s booth for the Mill Valley Art Festival.

In October I went on a trip with Mom to Gatlinburg, Tennessee for the National Basketry Organization’s bi-annual conference. I got to go somewhere new, hang out with some cool artists and learn about baskets and basketry techniques, but most importantly I had four beautiful, empty days to spend writing. I came straight back from that trip to the SF Burning Man Decompression event, which was fun, and then at the end of the month I made myself a fancy sparkly “dragonrider” costume and went to the Ghost Ship Halloween party. Halloween itself was the usual running around the neighborhood trick-or-treating with the kids.

In November Eli and I went to a few weekends of workshops for Dickens Fair, as well as a B’nai Mitzvah retreat at Camp Newman. Dickens Fair started up in mid-November, and for 5 weekends, Eli and I had a great time singing, gambling and gigging with the Paddy West School of Seamanship (“where we produce the best seamen in London!”). Having our weekends full of Dickens Fair made the rest of the “getting ready for holidays” activities challenging, but it was worth it. The busy social calendar around the week of Thanksgivukkah (the once-in-a-lifetime calendar convergence that put the first day of Hanukkah the day before Thanksgiving) also made November challenging, and when combined with working a 3-day weekend of Dickens Fair, it was like running a marathon (without adequate training!) In November I also got to finally visit the new Exploratorium when I chaperoned on a field trip there with Isaac’s class. I loved it and look forward to going back!

December had lots of school concerts and parties, more Dickens Fair (which triumphantly ended the weekend before Christmas), a night at Cirque du Soleil with old friends (I *loved* their new show Amaluna, a genderflipped Tempest mashup), going to see the next installment of the Hobbit movies (yay dragon!), our 17th annual Black Turkey holiday party, Christmas eve in Valley Springs with Josh’s parents, visiting with Josh’s extended family for Christmas Day, and then Christmas Decompression with friends back at our house at the end of it all. Also of note in December were Isaac getting glasses for the first time, and the Great Freeze, in which temperatures plummeted to below freezing for over a week. It was weird experience for us wimpy Californians!

And now here at the very end of the year we have come out to Stinson Beach with the Dvorin side of our family to exchange presents and eat seafood and play games and perform in the family talent show and walk on the beach and finally, finally relax and reflect on the season and the year behind us. After doing this summary, it’s clear to me that 2013 turned out to be a surprisingly good year. I am grateful, and looking forward to the twists and turns, the work and the challenges, the learning and the playing, and all the entertainments and the interactions of the year to come. Happy New Year, all!

Josh and I got up around 4am. He went to go fetch the van from where it had languished for two weeks in the SSV satellite campground parking area, while I started breaking down and packing the remaining stuff in our yurt. We packed and packed, then we disassembled the yurt itself. While we loaded the van, we turned on the radio to listen to BMIR (the Burning Man radio station) to see if we could get any news about Exodus times and tips. At one point when we were nearly finished loading, the radio abruptly cut out. We investigated and discovered that we’d completely run down the battery (doh!), and now we were screwed unless we could find someone with jumper cables to give us a jump.

It was just after sunrise, and we started wandering around SSV looking for people who were awake and packing up, asking if anyone had jumper cables. We eventually found some people who were getting ready to leave who said they’d be willing to give us a jump, but they had no cables. Then, miracle of miracles, we found someone who had cables. (You can be sure that next year’s Burning Man kit will include jumper cables!) We put cables and healthy battery together with our dead battery and yay, it worked. We got in the car and headed out of the city around 7am.

But of course “headed out” isn’t really what we did...what we did was drove out the streets of the city towards the gate, where we promptly ran into the Exodus line and stopped. For hours. And hours. And hours. At this point we were too exhausted, anxious and cranky to want any additional interaction with our fellow burners, so we stayed in the car rather than getting out and helping to create “pop-up neighborhoods” with the folks in line around us (yet another one of those things that seems like a great idea until you’re in it). We dozed and listened to the radio, and I wrote for a while in my journal, but mostly we just sat there and waited and waited and waited. Every once in awhile a pulse would come and we’d move forward a bit.

After close to 8 hours (!) in line, we finally hit pavement at around 2:30pm, and started traveling towards Gerlach. It began to rain right around 3pm, and though I never found out if they shut down Exodus at that point, boy did we feel lucky to have escaped. Luckily the rain didn’t last long, though. We stopped off in Empire (I think) to go pee and make sure our yurt was still tied down properly to the roof of the minivan, and then slogged on til Reno, where we stopped for dinner at the Black Bear Diner (same place we’d stopped the previous year). We ate some diner food, changed into our clean clothes, called our family, and got on the road again.

We made it home with no further incidents, tired and discombobulated but happy. We relieved our babysitter, took that first wonderful shower, and tumbled into our comfortable, quiet, bed with grateful hearts.

And now, to finish this long series of posts, the summary/wrap up/lessons learned bit:

  • Never assume. It makes an ASS out of U and ME. And no one likes feeling like an ass.
  • Decorating is fun. It’s even more fun when you go big with a theme and that theme becomes the organizing structure for creative activity.
  • Don’t be afraid to try doing things you don’t know how to do, even when they’re large-scale projects that threaten to be overwhelming in their complexity. And don’t back down to simpler creative projects just because you’ve “never done anything like this before”. Go big or go home.
  • Don’t wait for someone else to “save” you from difficult tasks. Find the help you need, or trust that you alone are enough.
  • Be respectful of existing leadership, but do not be afraid to lead yourself. There is no “us” and “them”, there is only “us” and “whoever cares the most about this can take the lead”.
  • Coordination skills are not enough; you need some high charisma too if you want to lead a team to successful completion of a project (especially when it’s a volunteer one).
  • Many people mean well. But only a certain kind of person combines good intentions with follow-through action. Cultivate and appreciate those latter kind of folk—they are worth their weight in rubies.
  • Existing relationships are the best source of help on a project, but you have to build and cultivate those relationships ahead of time before asking for help.
  • Be open to help from unexpected places. Allow people to gift their time and effort and be appreciative of those gifts. That appreciation itself is a gift.
  • You can’t work all of the people (or all of the projects) all of the time. Season with leisure and downtime or everything will break.
  • Humor and enthusiasm are terrific tools and should not be underrated (or misplaced).
  • Start things twice as early as you think you need to. Seriously. Some last-minute push is fun; too much is stressful and uncomfortable.
  • Double-check your travel arrangements, and then be willing to be flexible when things change (as they invariably will).
  • There is nothing else like the awesome thrill you get from working really hard on something for a long time and then finally seeing it manifest (and appreciated by others). A girl could totally get addicted to that thrill.
  • You can’t see/hear/play with/experience it all. But you can be present to and satisfied with what you do experience.
  • I really like working with fabric (which is weird, for a girl who never learned how to sew or knit or embroider or weave or any of those other traditional textile arts). I want to do more found-fabric collage pieces.
  • Being a Temple Guardian was a really satisfying job for me, because it combined both spiritual and social modes, and allowed for me to express many of my best skills.
  • Burner writers are awesome. Find more of them, and connect more. These are my peeps.
  • Sweet cold treats are awesome in the desert. Every time.=
  • Dancing hard with fun props to loud music in the company of lots of other people is one of my favorite things. Must repeat often.
  • Drumming with others is also a lot of fun and really satisfying. Must repeat often.
  • Adventuring with a simpatico buddy who is open to new experiences and likes the same things you do is extra fun. Must repeat often.
  • Bad times pass, eventually. Just hang on.
  • Always remember to dilute the hot water in your shower bag with cold water before you use it.
  • Giant interactive art is awesome in the desert. Every time. And every time I wish I could see/experience more of it.
  • Burners really get and appreciate the Fly Your Freak Flag High project. I need to keep going with this and also to find a way to up the ante/change things up for next year.
  • Big fire is big awesome, but sharing big experience with significant others is what makes it truly satisfying.
  • Bring jumper cables.
  • The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray. Flexibility, patience and a positive attitude are key.

[Cargo Cult Part 7]

[Cargo Cult Part 6]

[Cargo Cult Part 5]

[Cargo Cult Part 4]

[Cargo Cult Part 3]

[Cargo Cult Part 2]

[Cargo Cult Part 1]

[Cargo Cult Prologue]

[Cargo Cult full set of pictures on Flickr]

Sunday morning we stumbled out of bed and slowly, groggily started trying to get our individual and collective s**t together to pack up and strike the camp. There was a morning all-camp meeting where everyone got strike explained and volunteer roles assigned. Yaboogie peeps were in charge of striking the shower, which we did immediately after the meeting for a few grueling hours until it was done. At least we had lots of help, which certainly did make it easier and friendlier. It was a little sad how quickly everything came apart into ordinary piles and bags and boxes, and there was a bunch of “where did this come from” kind of moop, but overall I think we did a pretty good job consolidating everything.

After that we spent the rest of the afternoon alternately sitting around in a stupor and trying to pack up all of our personal stuff, because we were planning on leaving before sunrise the next morning—we knew that Exodus would be grueling and take forever, so we wanted to get started as soon as possible. We were tired and grubby but generally happy.

At dinner there was another big camp meeting, full of logistics and planning, and eventually we stopped and a group of us (Josh, me, Anjanette, Evan, Mary, Mitch, and maybe a few others) met up to go see the Temple burn. We got there kind of late (they were burning the Temple earlier this year, in an effort to help with Exodus), so we didn’t get very close to it, and as a result, we didn’t quite have the one-with-the-crowd feeling. But we did have our own little group again, and it was sad and beautiful and full of release and longing all the same. We talked a bit about what we would want to burn away (I never did get the chance this year to write on the Temple or leave anything there to be actually burned away, which I regret), and I decided that what I wanted to burn away was constriction, aka feelings of smallness. After all, we supernovas are supposed to expand and get bigger, right? :)

When the burn was over we trudged back to SSV and finished packing up as much as we could, and started saying our goodbyes to to friends and campmates. We went to bed in our stripped down yurt at around 10:30, because we knew we’d have to get up early in the morning to finish loading and head out. We’d heard rumors that another rainstorm was due on Monday morning, and we were anxious to make sure we got out of the city before that. We were really nervous about making it out before the rains came—we really didn’t want to get stuck in BRC, because we had kids and babysitters to get home to with no way of communicating that we’d be late (even though of course we’d made contingency plans). But we knew we needed some sleep before we could face that long, grueling Exodus and day of travel.

[Next: Cargo Cult Part 8]

 

[Cargo Cult Part 6]

[Cargo Cult Part 5]

[Cargo Cult Part 4]

[Cargo Cult Part 3]

[Cargo Cult Part 2]

[Cargo Cult Part 1]

[Cargo Cult Prologue]

[Cargo Cult full set of pictures on Flickr]

Saturday morning I had one final shift at SSV as a Temple Guardian, from 8am-noon. I had to drag myself out of bed and get myself moving far earlier than I would have liked, but once I was up and dressed I felt all right. My buddy Ron was a Guardian with me again, plus we had another couple Guardians on duty this time as well, so it was actually a pretty easy and mellow shift. I lovingly awakened and kicked out the people who’d been sleeping in our domes, picked up moop, answered a bunch of questions about our workshop schedule, gave directions to the nearest porta-potties, and had fun welcoming and greeting people. My dear young friend Zoe (whom I’ve known since before she was born) came by to visit at one point...it was her first burn, and it was her birthday that day. It was so great to see her, and to see her so open and loving the Burning Man experience.

After my shift I went back to our Yaboogie pod and changed from my Guardian whites into an afternoon outfit—I didn’t really have to, but I wanted a chance to wear my cool “dragon” vest that I’d made with the leftover scallops from the hanging in the Temple of Renewal. So I wore that to lunch and for a bit afterwards, while hanging around Yaboogie. It was hot and we were tired and feeling lazy, but I did manage to go take apart the Seaglass Guardian bottle sculpture, and pack the bottles into Eileen’s RV, because she was planning on leaving bright and early the next morning.

Saturday is the culmination of the entire Burn, the day (well actually the night) that everything is leading up to. Yes, Sunday has its charms, but it winds up being mostly a work day, and not as communally connected as Saturday is. Saturday is The Big Party, and you can feel the energy shift and the city start to vibrate as the day fades and night comes on.

So as it cooled off, the excitement started building, and everyone started getting ready for the Burn. We dressed in our finest, gathered troops, and finally managed to get everything coalesced (always a challenge with a big group). With Josh and me that night were our Yaboogie buddies Eileen, Naomi, Cory, Pat, Joe, Alexa and Michelle, plus our ex-Yaboogie friend (and my BFF) Anjanette, and Josh’s build buddies Joe, Evan, Mary, Mitch, and Oak (and probably others I’m not remembering). We were all really excited (who isn’t?) and happy to be together for the big event. 

Once everyone was assembled and official pictures were taken, we walked out the 9 o’clock road and past the ring of art cars until we found a good spot amidst the thousands and thousands of other Black Rock citizenry. We spread out a blanket or two and sat down and watched the fire dancers (what we could see of them) and the crowd and waited for the burn to start. Eventually, finally, the burn started, and oh yeah, it was a HELL of a burn. Incredible fireworks to ooh and ahh at, a giant explosion, and then fire fire fire, huger and hotter than either of the previous two man burns I’d seen (and those were the biggest fires I’d ever seen). At one point we actually got kind of afraid that we were too close to the burn and might have to move back in a hurry. I remember grabbing my backpack and looking around at my buddies trying to gauge the danger as ash and sparks floated overhead and the crowd murmured and shifted—but the wind held and we were fine.

It was huge and hot and happy and harrowing, and awe-inspiring in the way that only really huge happenings can be. I was really grateful to be surrounded by and sharing this experience with my “core” peeps—that’s one of the most important aspects of the burn for me, the connection and sharing of amazing experiences with others. After the man fell, the crowd began to disperse out to the city-wide party, and our group broke up as people went their separate ways to whatever called them in the city full of opportunities. Josh and Anjanette and I wandered around some together and eventually made our way across the playa to 2 o’clock and Fractal Planet, where we’d said we’d meet up with Mary and Evan (who was doing projections there that night). We toured through their amazing visionary art gallery and played around on their dance floor, where we lost Anjanette to a dance partner and the party. The rest of the night is actually somewhat of a blur, but I do know we stayed out til close to sunrise (but didn’t make it quite all the way...I do regret that I never got any sunrise time during this year’s burn, but oh well, that’s how it goes) and came home happy and replete.

[Next: Cargo Cult Part 7]

 

[Cargo Cult Part 5]

[Cargo Cult Part 4]

[Cargo Cult Part 3]

[Cargo Cult Part 2]

[Cargo Cult Part 1]

[Cargo Cult Prologue]

[Cargo Cult full set of pictures on Flickr]

Friday was freak flag day! With a little help from my favorite art flunkies, I had made around 300 flag blanks to take with me to Burning Man this year, from a donation of beautiful peach colored fine cotton fabric someone had intended to make curtains out of and then decided to get rid of. There was plain peach, peach with polka dots, and peach with stripes. I was scheduled to run a flag-making workshop at Sacred Spaces at 10:30 in the morning, so I got up and got myself ready and around 10, I schlepped my box of flags, bag of newspapers and multiple bags of sharpies over to the “Mind” dome with a little help from my friend Pat. Then Pat and I took handfuls of flags and went out in front of SSV to the Esplanade and started handing them out. Our friend Naomi came by to help hand out flags too. We would hand them out to people and then tell them that there was a workshop starting in a few minutes where they could come decorate them; this worked really well for getting people in to the workshop. At around 10:30 I left Pat and Naomi handing out flags and went back to the Mind dome to start the workshop. I told people a little about the project, and encouraged them to pair off to talk to each other about the things they felt they were freaky for/about/with. Then I handed out newspapers and sharpies and told people to come take a photo when they were finished.

People continued to drift in for the entire 90 minutes of the workshop, but at its peak I probably had about 40 or 50 people happily coloring away on the floor of the Mind dome. I really enjoyed flitting about, checking in and encouraging people, and of course people made some awesome flags (which you can check out over in the Gallery on the FYFFH website. I didn’t get pictures of everyone’s flags (and the ones I did get were often dark and yellow, because of the yellow fabric draping the Mind dome), but I know that I gave away about 150 flags there at SSV, which is pretty awesome!

After that fun morning, I had scheduled myself for a brief massage in the SSV Body dome (where all sorts of healers are available all week long). It was a Thai massage from a lovely man whose name I can’t even remember now (eeek!) and even though it was short (only half an hour) it really was a treat. He worked on my achy foot and legs and suggested yoga to open my hips.

After lunch I went and fetched my other box of flag blanks and put the flag-making stuff in the basket of my tricycle and trundled over to Pink Heart, where I spent the next few hours making more flags with whoever came by. Anjanette helped me hand out the flags this time. It was much mellower over there at Pink Heart, with most people just enjoying hanging out on the fuzzy pink couches and watching the people go by on the Esplanade. But it worked great to just wander around and ask people if they wanted to decorate a flag with us, and then to also scatter newspapers and sharpies around on the floor in front of the couches so people could just come in and sit down and start. I probably got another 100 or so flags handed out there, and took some more great pictures of the flags people made. Even Halcyon came by at one point for a hug and a thank you, which I appreciated. I’m really glad that I did the flag-making both places in both ways—I had a great time interacting with people and spreading the freak flag philosophy. There is nothing quite like the pleasure of working hard to bring something cool to Burning Man and having it thoroughly appreciated by strangers.

Josh came by at one point to visit while I was making flags at Pink Heart, but he wanted to explore more than he wanted to sit around making flags with us so we agreed to meet back at camp when I was done and he left on his own adventure. I got back around 5ish, and Josh was already back, so we decided to blip out before dinner and bike to the other side of the city to see if we could connect with our friends Angela and Chris and their kids, who were staying in Dye With Dignity (part of Barbie Death Camp). We had a fun time biking across the playa, but once we got to the 4 o’clock area, it got way bumpier and dustier and much harder to bike (or trike, as the case may be). We found Dye With Dignity after a bit of searching around, but couldn’t find Angela and Chris. Eventually after some wandering and asking, we found out that our friends had packed up and left Black Rock City earlier that day. We were sad to have missed them, but that’s often the way it goes on the playa.

Friday night we decided to stick around at SSV, because there was a great lineup of music planned. Josh mostly hung around with his build buddies and wanted to watch the visuals that our friend Evan was creating to go along with the music, so I wound up dancing by myself in their general vicinity. I had fun playing with my toroflux toys again, and grooving to the music. We stayed up until around 1 or 2am, but the great thing was that we were right there at home so we just stumbled back to our yurt and crashed out for the night.

[Next: Cargo Cult Part 6]

 

[Cargo Cult Part 4]

[Cargo Cult Part 3]

[Cargo Cult Part 2]

[Cargo Cult Part 1]

[Cargo Cult Prologue]

[Cargo Cult full set of pictures on Flickr]

Thursday became my de facto down day, since I’d stayed up so late and worked myself so hard on Wednesday night. About the only thing I managed to motivate to do in the daytime was to finally go take a shower with Josh in our beautiful Temple of Renewal. I was excited to finally get to experience our showers (they’d been closed the day before because the camp’s grey water cube hadn’t been emptied). And it was pretty amazing, especially compared to last year, although it would have been a whole lot better if a) the stall we were in hadn’t had a pulley with a stuck rope, so we couldn’t lift the shower bag up very high and had to crouch down to get water on our heads; and b) if we’d remembered to add some cold water to our shower bag before we used it (it had been sitting out in the brutal desert sun soaking up solar radiation for hours before we got around to using it and the water for our shower was HOT). Still, just getting wet and taking off a few layers of sweat and dust was awesome, and getting to see other people enjoying the showers while we were in there was fun too. I really do feel good about having provided something wonderful for everyone to enjoy...it definitely made all the time and effort we spent feel more worth it.

Thursday evening Josh and I had talked about going out to see some more art, but Josh was experiencing some upset stomach and watery guts so he didn’t want to venture far away from porta potties. He decided to stay at camp and take it easy. Around sunset, I went over to Pink Heart to check on Anji and see how she was feeling after the previous night’s antics, and ask if she wanted to go out for the evening with me (which she did). While I was there, she and I got our pictures taken by a guy with a mobile portrait studio. I love the way we look in the pictures...so relaxed and grubby and happy. You can just see the light shining out of both of us. :)

(I want to pause here for a brief digression about the weather, just so I remember for posterity: it was weirdly warm at night for pretty much the entire week. I never did wear my awesome playa coat, because all I ever needed even on the open playa was an overshirt or long sleeves, and I was fine. It seemed much more humid this year than other times, too, and I think this was because there had been rainstorms right before the event. I didn’t experience the super dry cuticles or nasal passages that I had in the past, and I was very grateful for that.)

So anyway, Anji and I met back up after dinner and decided to go see some art (including the inside of the giant flying saucer that was the Man’s base). We wanted to see the regional effigies burn, but we got out too late to see anything more than the end part so we just moved on. We had a great time biking around and looking at art (though occasionally my trike got caught in dust drifts and I had to get off and push it out. We saw all kinds of cool stuff, including the awesomely creepy and intricately detailed Photo Chapel, the gorgeous Truth In Beauty nude woman sculpture lit up with scintillating patterns of light that changed every few seconds (around her base it said “What would the world be like if women were truly safe?”), the mind-blowing giant color-changing swimming ichthyosaur skeleton puppet under its fabric tent, the giant color-changing letters of “BELIEVE”, a fire cube (no idea what this one was called), giant zoetropes of hands and apples and swinging monkeys, and finally, the interior of the flying saucer.

On the inside of the saucer, you could look out through its horizontal window slit onto the playa from above, which looked really amazing at night. There were all kinds of other cool things to look at in there too, including some mini zoetropes and something that looked like an abstract rendition of a human spine, with a meteorite suspended in the middle of it (this meteorite was supposedly something that anyone could look for and claim after the Man burned...I never did find out if someone recovered it, and if so what happened.) We actually didn’t spend all that much time in the Man’s base, because the saucer’s interior was not really designed to be a hangout place, it was designed more to be something you walked through and experienced and walked out of. The way you left was fun though: you got to slide down a big slide with a bump at the end that slowed you down enough so you could just hop off.

Once we finished at the Man, we decided to call it a night even though it was still relatively early (I was still pretty tired from my antics the night before). I was really glad to have gone out and see some more of the art though...I always want to see more than I do, but at least we hit some highlights. We rode back on the 9 o’clock road, and went our separate ways once we hit the Esplanade. I was asleep in the yurt by probably midnight.

[Next: Cargo Cult Part 5]

 

[Cargo Cult Part 3]

[Cargo Cult Part 2]

[Cargo Cult Part 1]

[Cargo Cult Prologue]

[Cargo Cult full set of pictures on Flickr]

Wednesday morning I got up pretty early because I had a Temple Guardian shift from 8am-12pm that day. I like being up in the relatively cooler, relatively quieter part of the day, but I also like staying up late in the night-time city; it’s hard to get enough of both experiences during the week of Burning Man. In any case, this morning I had plenty of time to get myself up and out to the potties, grab some breakfast and get dressed in one of my Temple Guardian white outfits. I made up some essential oil spray with one of our spray bottles and the essential oils people had brought for the Temple of Renewal, and brought my own staff, which I had borrowed from Eli (he helped me pick out decorations for it too, but we never got around to putting a crystal on the top of it). It turned out I was on shift with my new buddy Ron, which was fun. He had a shofar with him, and did a “wake up” blow outside our front entrance. We lit some sage and I walked around and smudged the whole front area of camp and the domes. Then I went back around and picked up moop and gently woke up people who were sleeping in our domes and stage area, so that workshops could start. After that I spent most of the time greeting (with bonus sage smudge or essential oil spritz) and/or saying farewell to visiting participants, and answering questions about workshops. One cool thing we saw while standing around the front of SSV looking out across the Esplanade to the open playa was a bunch of people parachuting in to Black Rock City (I can imagine that being a peak experience!) I tried to take pictures of them but really you can barely see the specks of people against the clouds. It was really fun being able to welcome people to our amazing space, and serve as a repository for the excitement and gratitude that visitors expressed. The time flew by super quickly, and I even stayed around a little bit after our replacements arrived.

After my shift I grabbed lunch and then spent the hot time of the afternoon chilling out at Yaboogie with whoever was there. One awesome memory from that afternoon was watching Golden Heart (Cory) introducing Larry to the pleasures of picklebacks (shots of bourbon combined with pickle juice, which I realize doesn’t sound yummy, but actually when you’re all hot and dehydrated, apparently tastes pretty good). I did not participate (I don’t like bourbon), but I must say it was pretty hilarious to watch. Also at one point someone showed up with news of ice cream being handed out at Spanky’s (the bar/dance club next door to SSV), so I went to investigate. I stood in line for a bit, chatting and people watching, and then oh bliss, I had ice cream! (I tell you, there is nothing quite so special as cold sweet treats when you are in the middle of the desert. It elevates something that is normally pleasurable to “super awesome”.) I took my ice cream back to Yaboogie, which sent another wave of people over to Spanky’s to get their own ice cream.

Other than that brief ice cream adventure, I laid low for the rest of the day, saving up some energy for the evening. Anji and I had made tentative plans to meet up that evening to try to find the “white party” put on by Opulent Temple (who didn’t have a camp this year, so their party was mobile, hosted by the Dancetronauts art car). I was already dressed in all white from my Temple Guardian shift, so I just added my sparkly silver top hat and some lights and I was good to go. We convinced some other Yaboogiers to come with us too (Josh, Eileen, and a few others). We weren’t totally sure where we were going (the party was supposed to be held at the “Control Tower” art piece, which we hadn’t seen yet), but thought it was across the playa at roughly 3 o’clock. First though we decided to go over to Osiris, one of the big sound camps, which was right near us at 10 o’clock, because one of Anji’s Pink Heart campmates was doing a DJ set there. Anji and I danced for a bit and had fun stomping around the dance floor with the crowd, but the rest of the group wasn’t that into it, so eventually we stopped and tried to figure out what next. Josh wanted to find an art car to ride over to the other side of the playa, but we couldn’t quite figure out where to catch one or how, so we decided to just set off on foot and see what happened. We saw some cool art on our way across the playa (you can’t go far in BRC without seeing some cool art), including a beautifully lit up sculpture of women dancing that was made out of stacked planks of wood, which I think was the regional effigy from Texas. Once we hit roughly mid-playa we saw the Control Tower off in the distance (it was really obvious, once we spotted it...a 60’ tall lit up control tower sculpture with fire belching out of it). When we got closer to it, it became obvious that we’d found the white party...there were thousands of people and tons of art cars and some super loud dance music. Anji and I jumped in and started dancing, but Josh decided it wasn’t his scene...he wanted something quieter and smaller. He said he’d eventually wind up back at SSV if I wanted to come find him, and then he bade us farewell and left us to rave as we would.

And rave we did! I was having a great time dancing with my Toroflux flow toys (I had one on each arm) and sharing them with people. At one point someone even took a Polaroid picture of me and gave it to me, which was cool. At another point, Anji and I were surrounded by a “bee swarm” (a bunch of guys dressed up in bee costumes). They gave us hugs and then handed us honey sticks, which was pretty random and funny. Eventually we got tired and decided to go sit on a nearby art car, which looked like a set of high-school bleachers on wheels. It gave us a great view of the white party and all the lit up art cars and the Control Tower. We sat up towards the back in the “Spectators Only” section (which was pretty funny, considering that one of the 10 Principles of Burning Man is “no spectators”), and as proper spectators, took a bunch of pictures. We met some people dressed up as a Nordic ski team drinking shots off a modified ski, and a cute teddy bear of a guy that Anji had already run into way earlier that day at her camp. She and he spent a lot of time talking while I had fun looking around at all the shiny blinky crazy “you can’t make this s**t up” stuff.

Eventually, the bleacher car decided it was going to take off and adventure back across the playa, and we decided to go along for the ride. It trundled off, stopping occasionally to say hi to other art cars and let the passengers switch out or dance a bit or whatever they wanted. We saw El Pulpo again, and a huge double decker bus all done up like a magic treehouse. While we were hanging out and dancing with the magic treehouse, a dust storm came up. We put on our masks and goggles, and decided that we were done with dancing for a while, and that this might be a good time to leave the bleachers and strike out on our own. We were fairly near a clump of regional effigy sculptures, so we walked over to investigate.

My eye was caught by one sculpture in particular I’d heard about and had wanted to see: a giant hamsa hand, all lit up with beautiful scintillating lights and a huge eye in the middle of the hand. When we got up close to it, I discovered that much to my delight, there was a whole area in back of the hand with what looked like a ready-made drum circle: a semi-circle of big and little hand drums surrounded by a bench, so you could just sit down and play. Now, I love me some drumming, so of course I sat down and started playing. As soon as I started noodling around, I realized that the lights responded to the drums, and then it got even more fun! There were a few other people there at the same time, and we all started playing. More people came up and started playing and dancing, and we eventually got quite the super groove going. I had such fun drumming at that sculpture—I could have done it for hours (and in fact we stayed there for about an hour, according to Anji...I was so in the flow of the whole thing that I only noticed it had been awhile when my hands started hurting from all that enthusiastic drum banging). For a while there I was definitely the leader of the drum circle, which was something I’d never really gotten to do before. I must say it felt really satisfying to be able to suggest a beat (mostly Middle Eastern, since that’s what I know best) and have people follow it, and to “solo” when I felt so moved. It sounded pretty good to me, and since others had started dancing, it must have sounded pretty good to others as well. My experience at the hamsa was everything I love about Burning Man, all neatly encapsulated into one experience: serendipitous discovery, friendly interaction with interesting strangers, collaborative artistic expression, creative flow, beautiful sparkly lights and an infectious beat that makes you want to boogie all night long. It was a peak experience, and I was sorry to stop, but eventually I did stop and let other people take it from there.

After the hamsa, Anji and I decided it was time to wander back home. It was getting on towards the wee hours, and we were both super dusty and exhausted (though happy). On the way home we found ourselves passing by a big sculpture that spelled out “INSANITY” in  huge, color-changing letters, so of course we felt we had to stop and take a picture with it. We also met a man there dressed in a big Native American feather bonnet and fringed pants, who turned out to be Turkish (we met a lot of international folks this year...apparently they were about 25% of the participants this time). He took a picture of us and we took a picture of him and then we went our separate ways.

We oriented ourselves using the beacon of the bright pink neon heart on top of the swing outside Pink Heart, and trudged our way home. When we got back to Pink Heart, we decided to swing on the swing. Someone was already in it, but Anji very politely went up and asked them if we could have a turn, and they said sure. So we sat in the glow of pink neon and swung ourselves around for awhile, laughing about our adventures of the night. Then I started fading, so Anji went to get her playa coat so she could walk me the block or so to SSV and then continue on. We stumbled back into SSV’s front area looking for Josh, but he wasn’t on the dance floor any more. I said goodbye to Anji and wandered back to our yurt, where I found Josh already crashed out.

Even though I was exhausted and the idea of falling into the oblivion of sleep sounded really attractive, I first stripped down and tried to wipe the worst of the dust and dirt off with some babywipes (which was harder than it sounds, but I managed to at least get a layer or two off). Then I got into bed and laid there for awhile, but I couldn’t quite sleep yet. I tossed and turned and cursed the loud thumpy dance music endlessly booming from across the way, but still I couldn’t do more than doze.

Then came the downer part of the wonderful evening I’d had. Sometime in the early morning, after a few hours of tossing and turning, my stomach started feeling upset and much to my dismay, I realized that I would have to go out and visit the porta potties a few blocks away. I really didn’t want to; I was already feeling pretty low, physically: exhausted and footsore from dancing and walking all over, filthy and itchy and covered in dust, bruised hands from drumming, and sad and grumpy about not being able to sleep. But I screwed my courage to the sticking point and made myself get up and get dressed again. I grabbed my backpack and hat and flashlight and trudged down to the portas in the dark. It was a long, uncomfortable walk and visit, but I survived it and made it back to camp feeling better. I went back to bed and managed to doze a little longer until it was officially morning and I could go hang outside and distract myself by talking to other people. Eventually I started feeling better and was able to take a short nap.

[Next: Cargo Cult Part 4]

 

[Cargo Cult Part 2]

[Cargo Cult Part 2]

[Cargo Cult Part 1]

[Cargo Cult Prologue]

[Cargo Cult full set of pictures on Flickr]

Tuesday morning we were able to sleep in a bit thanks to our reflective silver yurt (it definitely kept the temperature more comfortable than our tent had the previous year, although it did get pretty stuffy as the outside heated up—next year, we figure out better ventilation). From what I recall, the morning and early afternoon was mostly spent working. I spent some time arranging our things and finding people who could help me hang up the altar hanging inside the Temple of Renewal while Josh and some other Yaboogiers put up the shade structures, table and chairs for our communal Yaboogie area. When I finally got the altar hanging in its rightful place, after all that time working on it and envisioning how it would be, I totally teared up. It was beautiful, and I was really proud of myself. It looked perfect there, just as I’d envisioned it, and totally “classed the joint up” just how I thought it would. (Now that I’m home, I wish I could hang it somewhere, but it’s too big! I’d have to dedicate an entire wall to it, and we just don’t have that many open walls. Too bad.)

Some time in the late morning there was a Temple Guardian (TG) meeting in one of the temple domes at SSV, led by Eileen (who’d taken over as TG lead just a few weeks before the event, when the previous lead had found out she couldn’t come to the burn for health reasons). We sat in a big circle and got to introduce ourselves and orient ourselves to the task of being Temple Guardians. The role was not merely ceremonial (though we were encouraged to wear all white or monochrome colors with subdued bling, and to carry staffs)—what it really entailed was a combination of mundane tasks like greeting visitors to SSV, cleaning and clearing public spaces, giving directions, and answering questions about workshops and performers, etc) and spiritual ones (holding space, protecting the “good vibe”, offering cleansing through smudging or anointing with essential oils, etc). I felt good about contributing to our camp in this role, and it was great to meet other fellow campers who were volunteering for this role, (for example, my new buddy Ron, who I’d interacted with a bit on Facebook before the burn, and who also happened to be a Jewish writer). Ron gave me one of the beautiful metal Cargo Cult pendants that his sister Tziporah had made, and we agreed to meet up later after lunch for an event we both wanted to go to: a potluck “meet and greet” get-together for Get Lit(erary) at Burning Man, which was a group of writerly burners that we’d both connected with on Facebook before the burn. (It was formed in reaction to a question that had been the subject of a blog post on the official Burning Man blog: why is there no literary culture at Burning Man? There certainly are well-established visual arts, musical and fashion cultures, but not so much with the literary arts.)

After lunch, I couldn’t find Ron, so I went ahead and left for the Get Lit meet and greet anyway. Turns out he couldn’t find me either, so he’d already gone over to the Bureau of Misinformation camp where the meeting was supposed to be. (It all worked out, as these burn things often do.) When I got there, things were just starting (with snacks and drinks and the passing out of gifts), and those of us (including me) who had ordered Get Lit pendants ahead of time got them (and got to wear them proudly). More people trickled in as we sat in a circle and introduced ourselves and shared some about what we wrote. After introductions, discussion turned to hypotheses about what a “burner” literary style might be and some “what next” ideas. We talked a bit about what projects and places were of interest to literary folks at the burn that year, and what we might do next year (including possibly make our own camp). It was a fun bunch of people and I wish I’d gotten to hang out more with them, but as is the way of all things at Burning Man, that was it.

I left the Get Lit meeting and went back to SSV around 3, as we Temple Guardians were all supposed to participate in a camp Opening Ceremony, but the camp wasn’t quite ready for opening yet (our build team was still feverishly finishing putting things together). While I was waiting, I got our friend Pat to help me get the crates containing the nearly 100 bottles for the seaglass guardian sculpture out of the under-bed storage in Eileen’s RV, and he and our friend Naomi helped me carry them across camp over to the Temple of Renewal, where Josh had already set up the sculpture’s base and “skeleton”. I strung it with lights for nighttime, and put all the bottles on, and it looked pretty good. (Actually, I was amazed at how relatively sparse it looked even with nearly a hundred bottles on it...I would have liked to make something even bigger, but I ran out of time and oomph to do so. Maybe next time.) I got to take some pictures with it, and with Naomi too since she was there, and we met and talked to our campmate Alex who was camped directly across from the showers. He gave us beautiful “Cargo Cult” laser-cut wooden pendants that he’d made, and we spent a bit of time in mutual admiration.

Eventually it was time for the Opening Ceremony. We Temple Guardians were supposed to wear our white outfits but I didn’t want to change into (or pre-dirty) an outfit I was intending to wear the next day so I asked Eileen if I could just stay in my mermaid outfit. She didn’t care, so I did. She and Kirby, another campmate, were the high priestess and high priest for our opening invocations, which were sort of made up on the fly. They invoked the elements of fire, water, air and earth, and invited anyone who wanted to represent a particular element to step up to the microphone and give an impromptu evocation. So of course since I was dressed as a mermaid I did water. I don’t even remember what the heck I said since I made it up on the spot, but I’m pretty sure it was something about water as emotion and mother ocean. We also invoked the God and the Goddess, and laid down and did a brief guided meditation, and probably a few other woo woo things that are pretty much lost to me now.

Tuesday evening after dinner Josh and I decided to go out on the town again, since it was Josh’s actual birthday. We dressed up in our tutus (it was also Tutu Tuesday) and took our bikes this time instead of walking. I finally got to really ride my new tricycle, and it was awesome! I especially loved the ability to stop to look at something or do something without having to get off my bike. For lack of anything more compelling to do, we decided that we would just cruise the Esplanade and head over to Center Camp. We stopped at Pink Heart to look for Anji, but she wasn’t there. We continued on to Center Camp, where we found a really cool art installation outside that looked like a big complicated lit-up star puzzle, “fenced” in by cut-out, light up panels that had different quotes and symbols on them. We found that the star sculpture made different noises when you touched different parts of it, and that multiple people could make a sort of cacophonous symphony by patting and banging on it in different spots. After playing with that for a bit, we parked our bikes and walked in to Center Camp to get some coffee for Josh and just hang around. We looked around at a few of the art exhibits and sat on a bench for awhile to people watch, but nothing else particularly memorable happened, and we were getting tired again, so eventually we got on our bikes and rode back to SSV. We snuggled up in our yurt and crashed for the night around 1am.

[Next: Cargo Cult Part 3]

 

[Cargo Cult Part 1]

[Cargo Cult Prologue]

[Cargo Cult full set of pictures on Flickr]

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