Life sure seems surreal right now. I'm still processing the burn and all the things that happened there and how I feel about them and what I've realized since, but at the same time I have to keep reminding myself "oh shit, I have cancer. AGAIN." There's a big fat cognitive dissonance wrapped around my brain ("everything is fine/everything is NOT FINE!") and I keep boinging back and forth. I still feel relatively normal (except for this big leftover bruise on my boob from the biopsy), and the usual life hurlyburly keeps on comin' at me without a pause, and I'm still (mostly) able to handle it. But my people are all worried, and therefore I'm spending a lot of time trying to reassure them that I've got this and everything is going to be okay. Which seems a bit backwards. I'm enjoying all the contact and the love beams (even my teenager is being super nice and snuggly), yet I'm NOT happy about the reason for it.

Life is weird. I'm going to go play some handpan now and try not to overthink everything.