A cancer diagnosis seems to trigger this immediate need in others to DO something, to help, to soothe. Which I totally get, and is well meaning, so therefore appreciated. But there's nothing (yet) to do. There's only this weird new place to BE, where nothing is happening but everything is suddenly, radically different, and it's a threatening and uncomfortable place that most people really don't want to be (hell, *I* don't want to be here). So it's also a lonely place. A place that everyone else can choose whether or not to visit...but not me. I have no choice and no say in the matter. I'm stuck here, until one way or another I'm not. I'm thinking a lot about acceptance and surrender and trying to learn to love this place or at least appreciate whatever perspective it has to offer, but holy Moses it is super challenging, to say the least. (Yes, a challenge I am totally ready for and supported through, and one I am sure I'll conquer, but that's not my point here. So no need for insistent optimism or perky platitudes. I'm way ahead of you.)

And don't tell me everything is going to be okay, because you don't really know either.